CHRISTIAN COURTSHIP Part 1
GEN. 29:11-20
Key Verse: Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleaness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence and covetousness, which is idolatry. Colossians 3:5
INTRODUCTION
Christian courtship is a period before wedding/marriage where a Christian brother or sister agree about many issues and see if they both share the same vision, hope and aspiration about marriage. Christian courtship involves two people that have agree to walk togetther, in the direction of marriage. Amos 3:3
TEXT REVIEW
The Bible established some desired behaviours which are acceptable to a Christian courship:
1. Assistance between proposed partners - Jacob rolled the stone from the well's mouth and watered Laban's (father of Rachael) flock. Genesis 29:10
2. Introduction of proposed partner to selves and parents - Jacob told Rachael that he was her father's brother... And Laban heard the tiding... Gen 29:12-14
3. Family acceptance - And Laban brought Jacob to his house. Gen 29:13
4. Exchange of pleansantries - "And Jacob kissed Rachael ... And Laban embraced Jacob and kissed him". Gen. 29:11,13. Note the use of kissed in the two verses does not connotes sinful passion between unmarried partners that could lead into sin. It is a form of greeting or exchange of pleasantries or else Laban would would not have kissed Jacob. See 1Peter 5:14.
5. Payment of dowry - "I will serve thee for seven years for Rachael thy younger sister. Gen 29:18
6. Genuine love - "And the seven years was like a few days for the love he had for her".
Thank God for God's principles for Christian courship.
I. IMPORTANCE OF COURSHIP
1. It is period to get to know each other properly in terms of strength and weakness.
2. It allows for proper planning towards the marriage.
3. It is time to seek parents' consent. Gen. 24:54-59.
4. It is a time to undertake marriage counseling lessons.
5. It is not a time to indulge in bodily, emotional and sexual pleasure and sin. Romans 12:1-2. This will lead to failure in marriage.
6. It is time to lay proper biblical foundation for a happy married life.
II. LONG COURTSHIP NOT ADVISABLE
1. Long courtship is not advisable in the interest of the partners.
2. Such may expose the partners to sexual temptations and violation of divine guidelines (touch not, taste not, handle not) - Colossians 2:21.
3. It may lead to jilting by the unstable partner.
4. A minimum period of six months and a maximum of one year is recommended or advisable.
III. SOME COURTSHIP TIPS FOR SINGLES
When courtship is properly done, it can build a strong foundation for the marriage thereby positioning the marriage for success.
1. It is wise to consider courtship only at a time when you are ready to get married. Do not lead people to sin by giving them a false hope,courtship is not boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.
2. There is no point courting someone you will not consider marrying. You must only go into courtship with someone God has approved for you for a life partner.
3. One of the aims of your courtship is to be certain that God has approved your relationship. In courtship you have to be able to confirm this as this will prove valuable to you in marriage.
4. Be deliberate about praying and finding out God's willing (purpose) for the new family you are about to start.
5. Endeavour to spend time with each other's families. Families often observe what you cannot see. More so, since they will always influence your marriage either directly or indirectly you will have the opportunity to observe them too.
6. Emotional Intimacy; Guard your feelings, do not lose your head and fall into sin. Allow your relationship to grow naturally before sharing(dumping) all your secret with your partner. Some people have had to regret this when the courtship did not eventually lead to marriage. Focus on knowing each other.
7. Physical Intimacy; Work with each other to agree on the limits and boundaries upfront and ensure you stick to it. There is no point drawing a boundary that will not be respected.
8. Kissing and hugging; it is advisable you save the kiss till you get married. Kissing can spark up romantic flames that may lead to many other things.Hugging is an expression of love for some people but it should also be done with moderation or avoided.
9. Be deliberate about where and when to spend time alone together. Avoid late nights or spending time in lonely places.
10. Keep scandal at bay; do not give room for people to assume that you are having sexual relationship with your partner. Scandals can ruin your credibility.
11. Be accountable to each other and to a mentor; Develop a list of guidelines for your courtship to keep you on the right path. Also, consider submitting yourself to a mature Christian with a great marriage to advice and guide you.
12. Create time to pray individually and together with your partner. Life is spiritual.
13. Ensure you are active in church; This will also help you observe your partner area of passion andhow he/she behaves in a group.
Summary:
Courship is a necessary ingredient for a happy and joyful married life.
CONCLUSION
Our heavenly Father is best friend anyone can have. Remember, He is the one that ordained the institution of marriage. It will be dangerous for anyone to attempt to establish a home without Him. Courship is not a period to play pranks. Watch and be warned.
GEN. 29:11-20
Key Verse: Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleaness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence and covetousness, which is idolatry. Colossians 3:5
INTRODUCTION
Christian courtship is a period before wedding/marriage where a Christian brother or sister agree about many issues and see if they both share the same vision, hope and aspiration about marriage. Christian courtship involves two people that have agree to walk togetther, in the direction of marriage. Amos 3:3
TEXT REVIEW
The Bible established some desired behaviours which are acceptable to a Christian courship:
1. Assistance between proposed partners - Jacob rolled the stone from the well's mouth and watered Laban's (father of Rachael) flock. Genesis 29:10
2. Introduction of proposed partner to selves and parents - Jacob told Rachael that he was her father's brother... And Laban heard the tiding... Gen 29:12-14
3. Family acceptance - And Laban brought Jacob to his house. Gen 29:13
4. Exchange of pleansantries - "And Jacob kissed Rachael ... And Laban embraced Jacob and kissed him". Gen. 29:11,13. Note the use of kissed in the two verses does not connotes sinful passion between unmarried partners that could lead into sin. It is a form of greeting or exchange of pleasantries or else Laban would would not have kissed Jacob. See 1Peter 5:14.
5. Payment of dowry - "I will serve thee for seven years for Rachael thy younger sister. Gen 29:18
6. Genuine love - "And the seven years was like a few days for the love he had for her".
Thank God for God's principles for Christian courship.
I. IMPORTANCE OF COURSHIP
1. It is period to get to know each other properly in terms of strength and weakness.
2. It allows for proper planning towards the marriage.
3. It is time to seek parents' consent. Gen. 24:54-59.
4. It is a time to undertake marriage counseling lessons.
5. It is not a time to indulge in bodily, emotional and sexual pleasure and sin. Romans 12:1-2. This will lead to failure in marriage.
6. It is time to lay proper biblical foundation for a happy married life.
II. LONG COURTSHIP NOT ADVISABLE
1. Long courtship is not advisable in the interest of the partners.
2. Such may expose the partners to sexual temptations and violation of divine guidelines (touch not, taste not, handle not) - Colossians 2:21.
3. It may lead to jilting by the unstable partner.
4. A minimum period of six months and a maximum of one year is recommended or advisable.
III. SOME COURTSHIP TIPS FOR SINGLES
When courtship is properly done, it can build a strong foundation for the marriage thereby positioning the marriage for success.
1. It is wise to consider courtship only at a time when you are ready to get married. Do not lead people to sin by giving them a false hope,courtship is not boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.
2. There is no point courting someone you will not consider marrying. You must only go into courtship with someone God has approved for you for a life partner.
3. One of the aims of your courtship is to be certain that God has approved your relationship. In courtship you have to be able to confirm this as this will prove valuable to you in marriage.
4. Be deliberate about praying and finding out God's willing (purpose) for the new family you are about to start.
5. Endeavour to spend time with each other's families. Families often observe what you cannot see. More so, since they will always influence your marriage either directly or indirectly you will have the opportunity to observe them too.
6. Emotional Intimacy; Guard your feelings, do not lose your head and fall into sin. Allow your relationship to grow naturally before sharing(dumping) all your secret with your partner. Some people have had to regret this when the courtship did not eventually lead to marriage. Focus on knowing each other.
7. Physical Intimacy; Work with each other to agree on the limits and boundaries upfront and ensure you stick to it. There is no point drawing a boundary that will not be respected.
8. Kissing and hugging; it is advisable you save the kiss till you get married. Kissing can spark up romantic flames that may lead to many other things.Hugging is an expression of love for some people but it should also be done with moderation or avoided.
9. Be deliberate about where and when to spend time alone together. Avoid late nights or spending time in lonely places.
10. Keep scandal at bay; do not give room for people to assume that you are having sexual relationship with your partner. Scandals can ruin your credibility.
11. Be accountable to each other and to a mentor; Develop a list of guidelines for your courtship to keep you on the right path. Also, consider submitting yourself to a mature Christian with a great marriage to advice and guide you.
12. Create time to pray individually and together with your partner. Life is spiritual.
13. Ensure you are active in church; This will also help you observe your partner area of passion andhow he/she behaves in a group.
Hope you find this helpful. May God engrace us to go through this challenging period in purity.
Summary:
Courship is a necessary ingredient for a happy and joyful married life.
CONCLUSION
Our heavenly Father is best friend anyone can have. Remember, He is the one that ordained the institution of marriage. It will be dangerous for anyone to attempt to establish a home without Him. Courship is not a period to play pranks. Watch and be warned.
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